(by Edward Zeusgany and Alex Anders, © copyright 1998, all rights reserved)

When I entered my living room, I found Todd sprawled on the inflatable futon wearing nothing but nylon short shorts and his Walkman and watching cartoons; without muting the TV, naturally. Nearly the end of summer, he was brown in color, tall and lanky for ten, with a mop of dark brown hair falling over his brow and over his ears. From about the time he turned three years old, there were two places he could go without asking permission. His own back yard, next door, and mine. Many years ago, I had put a gate in the chain link fence that separated the two properties. And, if the back door was unlocked, he had the run of the house as though he owned it, which in a sense he did, that is, if thinking makes it so.

I looked at him a little too long and then sat down on the floor at the head of the futon, blocking his view of the tube. “You can touch me if you want,” he said.

“What?”

I thought he hadn’t noticed that I was in the room prior to my interfering with his program. “I’ seen you lookin’ at me. And it’s not the first time either,” he asserted.

I glanced at him, momentarily shocked, then turned quickly away. I really hadn’t been expecting this, not yet anyway, maybe not ever.

“Are you crying?” he asked, incredulous.

“I’m just a big slob,” I muttered, wiping my eyes with the back of my thumb. There really wasn’t that much liquid.

“Who said you were big?” he teased. This was a pretty common sort of jab that we would use against each other. Todd hugged me around the neck, hardly an unusual event. Then after a pause, “So?”

“So, can I run my hand up the back of your leg and into your shorts?” I asked, sort of kidding.

“You can touch me anyplace you want,” he replied, not kidding at all.

*****

If it wasn’t the softest bottom I’d ever touched, it was the equal. Over the next few years, there wasn’t a part of his body that I didn’t touch, kiss or put in my mouth, if it would fit. Sometimes he claimed that I was trying to swallow him whole. Of course, as he got bigger, fewer parts would fit easily, and there were other changes.

At twelve and a half, Todd wanted to bring friends with him, sometimes. They just wanted a place to talk dirty, away from adults. I didn’t count. But Todd told me that I would have to behave when his chums where there. He liked treating me as the kid. I told him that he was being mean and pouted for a while. But I wouldn’t let them smoke more than one cigarette—between them, not each. I didn’t stink up the house myself. So I told them they should sneak their weeds like every other kid and they tasted a lot better that way. It took all the fun out of quitting, if you never got hooked in the first place, I added with all the sarcasm I could muster.

This led to a general discussion of their various parents,’ aunts,’ and uncles’ successful or futile attempts to quit. They considered it to be hilarious, because they could and would quit any time they wanted to. It’s hard to explain addiction to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. “What makes you think you’re different?” I told them.

When he was sixteen he wanted to bring a girl with him and use the bedroom. Moreover, he didn’t want to fool around with me anymore. He was concerned, though. “What am I going to do about you?” he wondered aloud. I told him that I’d probably have to wait until he produced a playmate for me.

“I don’t know if I like that idea,” he pondered.

“Why not? Would you be jealous? You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either?”

“Maybe.”

“Your father didn’t feel that way.”

“You mean ... you and dad messed around ... when he was a kid?”

“How old’s your father?”

“Thirty four.”

“How old am I?”

“Forty five.”

“So when he was ten, I was ...”

“Twenty one.”

“Whose house do you live in?”

“My dad’s.”

“No, I mean, who owns it really?”

“My grandmother.”

“Right. So where did your father grow up?”

“There.”

“Right. And where was I living?”

“Here?”

“Right. When you were little and you were over here, if your parent’s wanted you, what would they do?”

“Come over.”

“Right. And what do they do now when they want you?”

“They call.”

“Why?”

“You mean, they know?”

“They surmise.”

“What’s surmise?”

“They figured it out, but they don’t know for certain.”

“How?”

“You know how when your friends are over, you sometimes say something about us that I get but they don’t?”

“Yeah?”

“You probably did the same thing to your dad. But he got it.”

“Oh. They know I bring Julie over here.”

“You know that your mom was three months pregnant when they got married?”

“Was I made in that bedroom?” Todd pointed to it with a look.

“There or the back seat of your dad’s car. How would I know?”

“That’s cool.”

“You like that idea.”

“Yeah. But Julie and I wont be living next door, you know.”

“I don’t suppose.”

I made sure that there were always condoms in the drawer of the night stand and that he knew how to use them.

*****

Todd and Julie got married right out of high school, but they didn’t have their first child until two years later. Then they had one every two years after that, three sons in total. When Todd’s grandmother died, his parents moved into the old lady’s house, which was smaller and in a better neighborhood. Todd and Julie took over the parents’ place.

The kids had the run of my house as though they owned it, which they did in a sense, if thinking makes it so. They liked to play three against one wrestling. Now at eleven, nine and seven, it was nearly a fair match. One effect of the match was the scattering of the hassock, the cushions, the newspapers and magazines, and the kids’ toys. Half their stuff was kept over here.

The action was interrupted by their mom and dad, who had come in unheard.

“This place is a mess,” Todd complained.

“I know. I’m just a big slob,” I said.

“Who wants to go for ice cream?” Julie asked.

“We do!” the two youngest chorused.

Sean, the oldest said, “I don’t feel like it, you guys go ahead.”

“You don’t want ice cream?” Julie asked again, just to be sure she had heard right.

“Uh uh,” Sean assured her.

Todd raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and forgot about having a rum raisin cone.

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